Frank/Obituary writer: [to Charlie] He was my ride home. Ken. Harriet Michaels: I'll pick up the check. Sir, its been an honor working with you. -Patty Davis, 100. Now *that* sounds like a lot of fun. Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as the Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows. Ohhhhh!". Congratulations. The soccer game is about to begin! : Charlie Mackenzie: I like the night life. "The Pentaverate" is a new comedy series created by Mike Myers for Netflix. From its conspiracy-laden premise to its lewd wordplay, its exactly what we hoped for. Is it a real town? It's like an orange on a toothpick. I was 8-1/2- months premature. Tony Giardino Charlie Mackenzie: Well, that sounds great! Instruments, instruments! Are we seriously talking about party favors? Charlie Mackenzie: So Tony, what's the deal with your clothes? Charlie Mackenzie: I was afraid you were going to kil - leave me. Alcatraz Guide: My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki. Thats just some of the quotes that capture the humor and story behind The Pentaverate. Get up to 35% off. Every intro collection is other, with the latter ones being especially humorous because of the narrator's dwindling patience with the events on the show. Stuart Mackenzie Charlie Mackenzie: That's not true. I've never hung onto that. Ive cracked cold fusion! -Professor Clark, 31. Its just the beginning. Youre a reporter. She murders her husbands on their honeymoons, then changes her identity and marries again. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. Pilot The joke continues when Ken notices, They had a gift store there, pants are half off!. Rose Michaels: What would you say to silver dollar pancakes, fresh squeezed orange juice, bacon, and Kona coffee? Ray said it was going to be Nutz Deep in here tonight. It's a gag that pokes amusing at the stereotype that Canada is more laidback and more comfortable in the case of generation and modernization. By Hannah Saab May 20, 2022. NEXT:The 10 Best TV Shows To Watch On Netflix For May 2022. Ooh! : One of the most important and funniest questions he asks the Pentaverate members revolves around "the Illuminati," which prompts an even more humorous response. Charlie Mackenzie: She smelled like soup. Theodore Zeldin. Company Credits . : Tony Giardino I want to to be Betty's Barney. That's a fact! Stuart Mackenzie: Give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in. I'm serious, did they mention the wife? This, of course, does not persuade the conspiracy theorist, who believes that "they're taunting" electorate by way of leaving their mark in simple sight. Look how clear it is. -Ken Scarborough, 17. Tony Giardino Stuart Mackenzie: Do you link your own sausage? Tony Giardino Har-ee-et. "The Pentaverate" Episode #1.6 (TV Episode 2022) Quotes on IMDb: Memorable quotes and exchanges from movies, TV series and more. I care for "Apple Jacks" a great deal. This twisted, hilarious, and witty series is a great watch for fans of Meyers work in the Austin Powers films as well as anyone up for a laugh. Commandeered Driver I don't care about your dream! The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. The Pentaverate has a stacked, all-star cast with names like Mike Meyers and Ken Keong. You know, when you come in, and you haul me into your office, and you bawl me out because you're sick and tired of defending my screwball antics to the Commissioner? : Charlie Mackenzie: I think I'm dating Mrs. X. Tony Giardino: Charlie. Oh hoo, yes, yes. Yes, see? Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, that's fine. Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. So tonight, Im selling off Mentor.-Bruce Baldwin, 90. Thanks. Anthony believes that "conspiracies are everywhere" and often blames the Pentaverate for major world events, thinking that they have a hand even in designing US currency. The door banged open and in came Wally, tractor and all. No! Hey, Anthony, do you ever think your obsession with conspiracies is a substitute for real human connection? -Reilly Clayton, 52. "If it ain't Scottish, it ain't crap! : [Tony is riding in a plane at night in a storm]. Suspecting a coup, leader of the Liechtenstein Guard, Exalted Pikeman Higgins, sends Ken on a mission to Dubrovnik in order to retrieve the, In Dubrovnik, Ken avoids the Pentaverate's, Bruce and Skip reveal they orchestrated the murders and intend to sell MENTOR at the Meadows for trillions of dollars despite the danger it poses in the wrong hands. Well, we tried to give Mr. Myers creative license, but again, he abused that privilege. Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass! What are you doing? Tony Giardino: Hey listen. Harriet Michaels: You didn't. That's what they're paying you for! Just click the "Edit page" button at the bottom of the page or learn more in the Quotes submission guide. Tony Giardino: What are ya talking about, I look hip! Think of us as the alternative. -Lord Lordington, 28. Reilly takes Anthony's suggestion of praying "to God his foreskin holds" slightly too severely, but then hilariously backtracks as soon as she realizes how absurd it would be to "say that to God." All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. Anthony believes that "conspiracies are everywhere" and regularly blames the Pentaverate for major world occasions, considering that they've a hand even in designing US currency. RELATED:Jordan Peele & 9 Other Comedic Actors Who Were Great In Horror. This spare key could be used to gain an extra vote and shift the balance of power in the Pentaverate. Paper! Charlie Mackenzie: Mom, I find it interesting that you call The Weekly World News "the paper." Mike Myers has a new Netflix comedy series with The Pentaverate. Anyone who's spent a minute with Mike Myers' satirical new series The Pentaverate knows that it's chock full of Easter eggs, references and special guest cameos. Oh my god, its even bigger and hairier up close! -Ken Scarborough, 51. A memorable quote from him that includes a visible gag occurs in the first episode when he crosses the border between Canada and the United States. Raise your hand and repeat after me. Pilot So who's in this Pentavirate? Please, can I commandeer this vehicle? Stuart Mackenzie : Youre my mentor. : Nice touch. -Bruce Baldwin, 77. Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can, hauling that gargantuan cranium about! Tony Giardino: Charlie, two words: therapy. : : The Pentaverate is a Canadian comedy streaming television miniseries created by Mike Myers for Netflix, inspired by conspiracy theories from his 1993 film So I Married an Axe Murderer. The Pentaverate. Created Mar 16, 2022. You must join us on the train. Menu. I am confident the killer will be found. I just hope people can see past his prolapsed anus. Its an incredible punchline to what seems to be just a dumb joke at first. Yeah, it's called FA-QUE! All of the park rangers were, at one time, guards, myself included. 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Geez, is this dangerous? Tony Giardino: Let me pick this up, please. Its got a mind of its own! -Ken Scarborough, 65. Newspaper reporter: Alright, okay. : After they discuss Big Dicks Halfway Inn, the motley crew ends up in Nuts Deep, New York. Mike Myers's first feature role without his Wayne's World wig is a performance at odds with the best interests of the movie. Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her. Oh yeah? No, no, no, no, no, no, you look like an undercover cop TRYING to look hip. May Mackenzie At some level, he doesn't even hassle to finish his contractual obligation to "only talk about The Pentaverate," announcing that he's "getting tired of this s**t." The more frustrated he gets, the funnier the intros are, with the final one likely signaling his resignation fromthe place he obviously hates. Being kind is no longer an excuse when your veins course with angry juice! -Saester of Dubrovnik, 58. Police Chief Charlie Mackenzie: Harriet! : Now, Anthony takes the meat behind the joke even further. He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow! : Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Content Warning: The following article contains spoilers for the Netflix show The Pentaverate. It's better than the actual horizon. Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as the Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows. Those who enjoy the absurd humor of the Netflix series the Pentaverate will be glad to know there are a number of other similar series to stream. Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"? The worlds most powerful computer and you cant unlock the fucking wheels? -Shep Gordon, 72. Tony Giardino : I do this all the time. Ive got a special job for you. -Exalted Pikeman Higgins, 40. Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartarse! I was knocked out. No! You've stayed your hour. The Pentaverate has not. It's a comical exchange thatunderscores just how ridiculous conspiracies around regular objects can be. Still, the joke continues when Ken calls up his old boss to try to win back his job, and he tells her that hes in Nuts Deep. Tony Giardino: So who's in this Pentavirate? Charlie, two words: therapy. All this time, we were focused on the keys like schmucks, and then Bruce steals the lock. Tanya Moodie plays Mrs. Snee, Ken's boss at his TV network. Last edited on 12 December 2022, at 10:47, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=So_I_Married_an_Axe_Murderer&oldid=3212604. But you know, I'm really running late, but thanks! Shit, its Sasquatch! Tony Giardino I think you might be addicted to conspiracy. -Reilly Clayton, 46. Tony Giardino: Every time you meet a nice girl you can get close to, you always break up with them for paranoid reasons. Aw please? Police Chief: You know that woman that confessed to the murder? I like to boogie. It comes from an exchange between kindhearted Canadian journalist Ken Scarborough (Mike Myers) and conspiracy theorist Anthony Lansdowne (also Mike Myers), as well as Kens trusty assistant, Reilly (Lydia West). Charlie Mackenzie: [is served a huge cup of coffee] Excuse me miss, there seems to be a mistake. Now! High quality The Pentaverate Canada Quotes inspired Postcards by independent artists and designers from around the world. It's like Campbell's Cup-O'-ccino! : Wait Until You See What Happens To Joffrey. He must have said yes to the Pikeman's offer of a "bite belt," as it might've avoided the blood-curdling scream he makes all the way through the test. Im leaving because it smells like dude, and yall need to wash your balls more often. -Patty Davis, 22. In Episode 2, the crew continues their journey and Anthony has to use the bathroom. : Tony Giardino: Oh yeah? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow! We have become those nefarious hands. -Lord Lordington, 97. All right, you dolphin lickers, this man is gonna teach you the Canadian art of Defendo. Robbie Fox's original script has a fine shape and strong, black-comedy material within it. Men like Leonardo Da Vinci, Jonas Salk, and the Quaker Oats guy. -Rob Lowe, 8. Its been one of my dreams. Im Rob Lowe, thank you. -Rob Lowe, 7. We do the impossible every day. Stuart Mackenzie: [after Charlie has stayed all night at Stuart's house, and is finally leaving] Fine. She's enthusiastic about all issues popular culture and design. Charlie Mackenzie: Yeah, Vicky's the best. You win, you win, okay? Well, I don't know, Tony, we haven't reached that all too critical do you know the words to "Only You" phase in our relationship, so I'm afraid I'm not much help! Myers briefly reprised his voice role as Shrek from the film series of the same name, who appears as a walk-around character that saves Ken. Negatory. Canadian journalist Ken Scarborough. This is awesome, man! Usually I follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of "Thou shalt not kill" but that's just me. Why cant you do that? Movies. The Maester of Dubrovnik acts as a forensic investigatorfor the secret society after extra murders happen inside of the headquarters. Sip from the cup, your anger will erupt. The pentaverate must never be exposed. -Exalted Pikeman Higgins, 29. The contributors of the Pentaverate have by some means hidden the life of the powerful secret society from the global since 1347. I repeat, a piper is down. I mean, this is what I do. : I don't want to intrude, but you seem a little down. Charlie, does Harriet even know the words to Only You? : One approach he does that is with a comical tattoo that says "sshhh" on his finger. Paper! From Dr. Clarks question about the Illuminati to the secret societys motto, theres no shortage of funny quotes from Netflixs The Pentaverate. Because it is time for you to help us. -Skip Cho, 67. Charlie Mackenzie: I'm naked, aren't I? We cannot assume. Penetrate Quotes - BrainyQuote. : Well, you know there's a chance in everything. Do you know that? One of the most important and funniest questions he asks the Pentaverate members revolves around "the Illuminati," which prompts an much more funny response. Tony Giardino Seriously, why all the swearing? The Pentaverate is a secret global organization dedicated to solving the worlds problems. -Professor Clark, 27. So, Tony, what's the deal with your clothes? Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. : They value secrecy and will go to great lengths to keep their group underground. There's a clear line between the "fuzzy" nation and the clearer, extra HD neighboring the city. Looks like an orange on a toothpick! Stuart Mackenzie: Ooh, that was off-sides, wasn't it? Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no. And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick. The Liechtenstein Guard are a band of brothers. -Exalted Pikeman Higgins, 37. Well, she's confessed to the murders of Abraham Lincoln, Warren G. Harding and Julius Caesar. Even when she "specifically hit the 'D' very hard" when saying "and so," Anso hilariously briefly responds with "yes, Maester." Mike Myers is set to star in a new Netflix comedy series, The Pentaverate, with six additional cast members announced. Distractify is a registered trademark. : Ne-ga-to-ry! [scene changes to her pouring Charlie a bowl of Fruit Loops]. I believe most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Their website explains, Nutz Deep originated in Sturgeon Bay, WI as a small hole-in-the-wall tavern right on the bay. Im leaving now. John Johnson: Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. NEXT:The 10 Best TV Shows To Watch On Netflix For May 2022. See? The Maester of Dubrovnik acts as a forensic investigatorfor the secret society after more murders take place within the headquarters. They are prevented from travelling to the Meadows in time because Bruce locked the, At the Meadows, Bruce and Skip auction MENTOR. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts. As the six-part series explores the titular secret society, audiences are treated to some truly gut-busting lines. Big Dicks Halfway Inn! By explaining the joke, The Pentaverate gives what appears to be dumb humor some more substance. The Pentaverate has been making waves among viewers who can appreciate its unique brand of humor. From the decanter springs forth mean banter. Jane get me off this crazy thing called love. Charlie Mackenzie: You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Myers also executive produces along with John Lyons and Jason Weinberg. All six episodes of The Pentaverate are now available to stream on Netflix. Well, you know there's chance in everything. Creator Mike Myers Stars Mike Myers Lydia West Jeremy Irons Police Chief T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Frank/Obituary writer: Hey, c'mon take it easy, will ya? The Pentaverate is funny and will be enjoyed by fans of Mike Myers, but it does feel a bit overindulgent. Yes, yes. The recent release of the new Netflix Mike Myers created series, The Pentaverate, has plenty of twists and surprises. She's a nutcase! What business do you think Im in? -Skip Cho, 68. It's a quorum, so to speak. What do ya mean? How long is it gonna take us to get there? Police Chief : Shh! 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